In the nonstop circus that is today’s gotcha media Twittersphere blogoverse Tumblrtown, public figures are held accountable for their actions more often than ever. For that reason, I present Apology Tour, where we take the week in apologies and grade them using a proprietary formula based on several criteria such as severity of incident, sincerity, necessity of apology and other stuff that I’m forgetting right now. Without further ado…
Esquire Magazine for accidentally putting the headline “Making Your Morning Commute More Stylish” next to the famous picture of a man falling out of the World Trade Center on September 11
Listen, people at Esquire. I know that your ideal man is one who sits in an overstuffed leather chair smoking a cigar and subjugating women, but, come on, you can’t just smugly brush off a 9/11 snafu. That’s the worst kind of snafu left. Just a simple “we’ve made a mistake” would’ve sufficed. And don’t do it on Twitter. A note from the editor on the website would’ve been better.
Remember how when you were in school you always wondered if your teachers were making fun of you whenever they went into the Teachers’ Lounge? Well, this is the football version of that, confirming all your suspicions that the coach at your local school doesn’t view you, the fans of the team as “vital support” so much as “a drunken nuisance.” And so, befitting this debacle, Pelini has apologized.
This past week has obviously been a difficult one for many people associated with the University of Nebraska and our football program. I wanted to take this opportunity to say I regret the comments that I made in private two years ago, and apologize to Husker fans everywhere.