There’s not much I enjoy more than a good heist. There’s something very swaggadocious about going in and just taking someone’s stuff. It usually takes a good deal of planning–assembling a team, training, getting the blueprints and knowing every inch of the place you’re knocking over and then seeing it all come together and end in a perfect getaway.
However, in Connecticut it’s cool if you just waltz into a store with a gun, ask nicely for their money and drive off. That can work too.
A well-dressed man entered the Bedding Barn shortly before closing time Tuesday night, showed the clerk a gun and apologized for holding up the store.
Sure, you earn six figures as a stock trader trader by day, but that doesn’t thrill you anymore. No. Now in order to get your excitement, you have to walk a Bedding Barn and stick them up, and then, ideally, match wits with the flirty, clever lady detective who knows you did it, but doesn’t have the evidence to prove it. That’ll come later though. For now, you need to just figure out how to accomplish two things: 1) get your money and 2) be polite so that you leave a good impression, the way mother taught you to.
The man then approached the clerk and stated “I hate to do this to you but I’m going to; this is a hold up,”
I’m sorry, is this guy guilty of stealing money or OUR HEARTS!?!?!?! (It’s money, and it’s not our money, it’s money belonging to a Bedding Barn in Orange, Connecticut).
Though our honorable gent of a criminal absconded with the money and evaded capture, the clerk got a look at him and would be able to ID him to police:
He was clean shaven and wearing a black suit with a white shirt and black tie.
As of this writing, the entire population of Connecticut matches the description and is wanted for questioning.