LSU Like, Totally Didn’t Even Want Quarterback Recruit Who Chose Another School

The news out of Baton Rouge (a city whose correct pronunciation requires that you huff and wave a handkerchief wildly) is that LSU’s football coach, Les “Fewer” Miles is blasting Gunner Kiel, the nation’s number one quarterback recruit whose name is not in any way made up.

“We needed a quarterback,” Miles told the crowd. “We lost two. We needed a quarterback in this class. There was a gentleman from Indiana that thought about coming to the Bayou State. He did not necessarily have the chest and the ability to lead a program, so you know.”

Burn! LSU is obviously too good for this guy they’re mad at for refusing their offer to attend their college for free. Now, generally it’s not good practice for college football coaches to be mocking 18-year-olds in general, and recruits specifically, so this Gunner Kiel must have done something bad, right? Well, he had committed to LSU until less than a week before signing day, at which point, well, his mom got in the way.

“From what I have been told, he is no longer coming to LSU,” recruiting expert Michael Scarborough of said Monday night. “He wants to come to LSU, but his mother (Aleta Kiel) got very emotional Monday and did not want her son to leave. He plans to enroll in classes at Notre Dame on Tuesday.”

Poor LSU, when they needed a kid to go against his mother’s wishes, they couldn’t catch a break, but when they needed a mom to overrule her kid, no dice either. Really, you should watch this video. It’s magnificent.

But still, Miles is catching some heat for, you know, putting some teenager on blast. The sentiment: he’s eighteen! Leave him alone (aka the reverse Gundy–goddamn, that rant is inspirational, even if the subject of the “I’m a man, I’m 40” rant spiraled into depression after the incident) is fairly difficult to argue with.

On the other hand, dude is old enough to join the army and his actions made it virtually impossible for LSU to sign a top-notch quarterback recruits because they had a verbal commitment from the best one in the country.

Media coverage of recruiting is kinda weird in that it takes two basic forms 1) these kids all get so much attention that they are egotistical d-bags or 2) we need to protect these kids from all this attention because it will damage their fragile psyches. To which I say, doesn’t being a top high school recruit seem like a lot of fun? People are always telling you how awesome you are, and offering you bags of cash. And it’s not like you even have to go to the briber’s school. What are they gonna do, call the cops? Fun fun fun. So, don’t feel bad for Gunner Kiel. He’s going to be fine.

And he chose Notre Dame, so screw him.

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