They Do in Fact Know It’s Christmas

You may remember that in 1984, all the stars of the music world united to record a song called “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” It is the worst thing ever.

See? The worst! Did you hear that part when they were like “Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you”? I mean, I guess it’s supposed to be ironic or whatever, but… I don’t know how well that comes across! In any event, some African dudes have answered the question. Yeah, I guess they do know it’s Christmas.

A group of South African musicians has recorded a response to Bob Geldof’s 1984 song. Proceeds from the new single will go towards teaching discipline, literacy and contraception at British schools.

Ha! On the one hand, it’s taken 27 years for them to respond. On the other hand, it’s a bunch of African dudes raising money to teach contraception at British schools. Lest you believe this is not nearly as spiteful as my description:

[C]omposer and singer Boomtown Gundane said that for years he had been irked by Geldof’s assumption that hungry Africans were also stupid.

‘Or was he just saying that Africans were stupid? Of course we knew it was Christmas.’

Then he goes on to take some shots at Geldof’s native Ireland:

‘They made it through disasters like the potato blight and the invention of the Protestant church without forgetting Christmas – why did they think we would forget it?’

I’m not sure if that’s a burn of the Protestants or Catholics, or Ireland or what, but I wholeheartedly approve. Take that! (No Robbie Williams–remember when they tried to make Robbie Williams happen in America? No? Well, it happened, I promise.) Either way, Africa scores a knockout blow at the end.

Gundane said he hoped that his involvement with the song would turn him into an expert on British politics and economics in the same way ‘Do they know it’s Christmas’ had turned Geldof and Bono into the world’s leading experts on Africa.

‘If I’m not sharing a platform with the Queen and David Cameron by this time next year, or headlining at Glastonbury, then I will have done something very wrong,’ said Gundane.

And on that note, happy Hanukkah, merry Christmas, and we’ll be back in 2012.

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