North Korean State Media Goes Down with the Ship

As you now probably know, our dear leader, Vaclav Havel Kim Jong Il passed away on account what I’m guessing was a combination of heart disease and nobody wanting to be the doctor who told Kim Jong Il that he had a terrible heart condition that would require him to like, eat vegetables and take Lipitor and such. In any case, he looks at things no more.

And if you’re you’re sick of the American media’s liberal bias, always making it seem like Kim Jong Il was such a villain, good news, because KCNA, the authority in authoritarianism has produced this incredible (and I mean “incredible” as in not credible) account of the streets crying out for Dear Leader.

Pyongyang, December 19 (KCNA) — “Father!”

“General, don’t go!”

“General has not passed away.”

“General, our father!”

These are the voices of grief heard from among all Pyongyangites, young and old, men and women, at the sad news of demise of leaderKim Jong Ilwhich came like a bolt from the blue.

The statues of President Kim Il Sung in various places of the DPRK including Kim Il Sung University and the Pyongyang Students and Children’s Palace and the mosaics depicting Kim Jong Il are visited by an endless crowd of citizens.

They are shedding bitter tears, their knees on the ground, as they courageously weathered out stern adversities, trusting him only and holding him in high esteem as the sun of destiny and father.

They are getting the paved stones drenched with tears, feeling so regrettable as they can no longer see him whose smile was as broad as sunshine.

When was the last time you weathered out stern adversities to pay tribute to a hero? In any case, KCNA is obviously going wall-to-wall on this one, and I can only imagine what kind of frenzied news atmosphere would produce the following passage:

Kim Jong Il, great master of politics and illustrious commander born of Heaven, honorably defended the socialist gains, noble heritage bequeathed by the President, by dint of Songun politics despite the collapse of the world socialist system, the demise of the President which was the greatest loss to the nation, the vicious offensive of the imperialist allied forces to stifle the DPRK and severe natural disasters. He turned the DPRK into an invincible political and ideological power in which single-minded unity has been achieved and made it emerge a nuclear weapons state and an invincible military power which no enemy can ever provoke.

[…]

The whole life of Kim Jong Il was the most brilliant life of a great revolutionary who covered an untrodden thorny path with his iron will and superhuman energy, holding aloft the red flag of revolution. It was the life of the peerless patriot who dedicated his all to the country and its people.

And yet for all of that, he was alone in the end. What a shame.

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2 thoughts on “North Korean State Media Goes Down with the Ship

  1. kita says:

    Well done.

    My favorite is the photo series of the Great Leader “Looking at Things” , which is the perfect lead in to the “Team America ” bit.

    I am little worried about those North Korean writers.They may to be facing a big cut back in their work load now that he’s gone.

    • Arcadian says:

      Well done. My fotraive is the photo series of the Great Leader “Looking at Things” , which is the perfect lead in to the “Team America ” bit.I am little worried about those North Korean writers.They may to be facing a big cut back in their work load now that he’s gone.

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