Game of the Century to Be Decided By Bulleted List I Just Made

Seriously, Alabama? This is Your State Flag?

Whenever one faces a difficult decision in life, a pros and cons list usually has the answer. And whether or not listing reasons why and reasons why not is a good idea, it does give me the opportunity to shoehorn in this really important clip of Keith Jackson quitting halfway through a promo for Emily’s Reasons Why Not in the 2005 BCS National Championship game that I spent about a half hour trying to find.

Here’s the reasons to suspect that LSU is going to pull this one out, or more accurately that Bama is going to lose. Because you know, hate hate hate.

Bama is going to lose this game because:

  • They know that they have to win one for the soon-to-be-extinct wild tiger.
  • Bama is still smarting from Nick Saban passive-aggressively responding to the really nice gift they all pitched in on for his 60th birthday.
  • Oh yeah, remember Bobby Jindal?
  • While LSU may have produced JaMarcus Russell, he appears to be an Alabama fan. Bad vibes, man.
  • Even if they win this stupid game, that one jerk is going to keep putting Boise State as his number one team, so what’s the point?
  • LSU’s team trip to see Knuffle Bunny: A Cautionary Musical taught them that under extraordinary circumstances, people can do extraordinary things.
  • At least nobody has gone on TV and compared Obama to Hitler in an LSU hat. Yet.
  • Confused Bama fans will hear about an team trying to stay undefeated and keep its national title hopes alive and accidentally buy tickets to UAB-Houston.

The LSU Bleeding Pelicans

LSU is going to lose because:

So there you have it, 10 reasons LSU will lose and 8 that Bama will lose. Therefore, the only logical conclusion is that Alabama will win this game 10-8. That seems about right—three field goals to five safeties. Sounds like it’s going to be one of the ten best Game of the Century games ever. Roll Tigers, Geaux Tide and have a good time.

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7 thoughts on “Game of the Century to Be Decided By Bulleted List I Just Made

  1. hoo-rah! says:

    I can’t decide if I really like that crazy doctor, or if he scares the houndstooth outta me. His story about dressing up and running around the ICU at 7 AM before LSU-Florida games is quite spirited, but I’d be scared if I were a Gator fan sitting around waiting for him to operate on me.

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