Comeback of the Year

He was then asked, “Have you ever been accused, sir, in your life of harassment by a woman?”

He breathed audibly, glared at the reporter and stayed silent for several seconds. After the question was repeated three times, he responded by asking the reporter, “Have you ever been accused of sexual harassment?”

 

 

Herman “The Human Protest Vote” Cain, who was last seen stealing SimCity 4’s tax plan, singing beautifully about pizza, misquoting the theme song from Pokemon: The Movie 2000, and most recently, sneakily grinning at his smoky campaign manager.

I’m not the only one who legitimately really likes the “I Am America” song, right? Right. Ok. Herman Cain.

So, as the quotation from above might indicate, Republican contender for president Herman Cain has been accused of sexual harassment and settled out of court. Twice. And he’s reacting to this in such a clearly normal way! His campaign has predictably trotted out the Clarence Thomas-era “‘high tech’ lynching” language. Although, I do like that their email is addressed to “Patriot,” which I guess is like the American equivalent of comrade.

And… I mean, sexual harassment is obviously bad, and very few details are out about this at the moment, but… we’re not that far away from having one of the Republican nominees for president be a black man who sexually harassed a woman. I mean, maybe it’s a white woman–is it bad to hope it’s a white woman? Because in that case, if the Republicans go ahead and nominate him for president in that case, then they win. They win the game of racial chicken that nominating Herman Cain is, and that they believe electing Barack Obama was.

Still, I think there’s one thing we can all agree on: that in no way do these allegations taint the deliciousness of Herman Cain’s taco pizza.

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