Dodgers Bankruptcy Mostly Hilarious, a Little Sad

Because it’s Halloween, I thought I’d tell you a scary story. This one, about the horrific Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodgers, lazy bastards that they are, only played 161 games (not the scheduled 162 last year), and ended just on the plus side of mediocrity. This wouldn’t be so bad were it not for the other shameful, shameful things surrounding that particular franchise. The vast majority of the shame comes from the fact that the team’s owner, Frank McCourt’s divorce has left him in a financial position where he has been unable to effective run the team, so much so that MLB commissioner Bud Selig seized control of the team. McCourt is now bravely fighting for justice (i.e. to reclaim the team so that he can ruin it at his leisure).  We’ll start small and get bigger.

  • Effectively admitting the failure of last season, the Dodgers have cut ticket prices.
  • Despite their failure of a season, the Dodgers’ financial instability will make it difficult for them to retain their league-leading 10 free agents.
  • Owner Frank McCourt’s attempt to auction off the team’s TV rights could kill a regional sports network in Southern California.
  • Frank McCourt and his wife’s hilariously drawn-out divorce appears to have reached a settlement with Frank taking control of the team. Mrs. McCourt had been fired from her job as the Dodgers’ Chief Executive for “insubordination, non-responsiveness, failure to follow procedures and inappropriate behavior with a direct subordinate,” or, in layman’s terms, sleeping with her driver.
  • The Dodgers’ owner, Frank McCourt is in bankruptcy court, battling against Major League Baseball, which has made the claim that he has looted a gentleman’s $189.16 million from the team. Their owner, for the record, is still not that Frank McCourt.
  • McCourt also accused Selig’s security task force in light of the Bryan Stow beating of being responsible for a drop in Dodgers’ attendance. That, not the team being bad and everyone hating the owner for making the team appreciably worse.

But that’s all really window dressing of terribleness in comparison to team attorney Jerome Jackson’s comments about the Bryan Stow case.

As a refresher, Bryan Stow was wearing a Giants uniform outside Dodger Stadium on March 31 and was beaten within an inch of his life by two Dodger fans. After spending weeks in a coma and months in recovery, Stow is only now starting to speak, and is still unable to walk. This is all terrible, and the only sane reaction is to feel sympathy here. This is what the Dodgers’ team lawyer told ESPN Los Angeles:

You’re saying to the jury, ‘They (the Stow family) are saying we’re 100 percent liable. But does that mean (Marvin) Norwood and (Louis) Sanchez, who beat this guy up, have no liability? And, does it mean Mr. Stow himself has no liability?’

AND

I’ve been doing these cases for 23 years and I have never seen one yet in which it didn’t take at least two people to tango.

AND

Bryan Stow was admitted with 0.176% blood-alcohol level and that is something that will be considered at trial.

I’m no big city lawyer, but isn’t it a bad strategy to immediately turn the public against you by going to the “he was asking for it” defense on the man who was nearly murdered on your watch? More on this as it develops.

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