Bernie Madoff Has Totally Learned His Lesson

The great thing about serving a 150-year prison sentence is that you don’t really feel any need to lie. For example, this:

“Not seeing my family and knowing they hate me” is the worst thing about being in prison, he said. “I betrayed them.”

Asked what he’d like to tell his grandchildren, he said: “I am sorry to have caused them pain.”

But Madoff seemed far less troubled about the plight of the clients who had trusted him with their life savings, many of whom lost all they had.

“I understand why clients hate me. The gravy train is over. I can live with that,” Madoff said.

What a great guy! So good. The best. The greatest thing about all of this: those wacky Madoffs are still hustling! Still! In 2011! Check it out! I’ll set the scene first. His wife just told the New York Times that they tried to commit suicide together.


Disgraced financier Bernie Madoff has told an interviewer he has terrible remorse and horrible nightmares over his epic fraud, but also said he feels happier in prison than he’s felt in 20 years.

What is he, George Bluth? Also, you know, your son killed himself less than a year ago. Good to see you’re over it. Anyway, this article I found on continues on:

[Barbara] Walters said Madoff told her he thought about suicide before being sent to prison. But since he’s been there, he no longer thinks about it.

So, um, ok. But why would Ruth maybe want to lie about possibly committing suicide? I mean, besides the obvious of potentially garnering sympathy. Well, the Times buried the lede, as they say in the journalism:

After years of silence and seclusion, Ruth Madoff agreed to talk with a Times reporter about the worst years of her life because her son Andrew had asked her to help promote a new authorized biography, “Truth and Consequences: Life Inside the Madoff Family,” to be published Monday by Little, Brown.

I can’t wait to see this play out as a ripped from the headlines story on Law & Order Two Broke Girls.

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