The Greatest News Story Ever

I mean… what could be better than the headline, “Fan explains why he threw hot dog at Tiger Woods“? How about his actual explanation?

Brandon Kelly of Petaluma told the Santa Rosa Press Democrat on Tuesday that he’s a fan of Woods and got the idea after watching “Drive” – a recently released movie starring Ryan Gosling as a stunt driver who moonlights as a getaway driver.

“I threw the hot dog toward Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie `Drive,'” Kelly said. “As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, `I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.'”

What other reasons are there to throw a hot dog at Tiger Woods?

  • Because your neighbor’s dog told you to.
  • To impress Jodie Foster.
  • Because you have a medical condition.
  • Because you just saw The Santa Clause 2 and thought that it was the only way to save Christmas.
  • To reconnect with your son. (Only applies to gruff fathers who don’t have the words to say “I love you.”)
  • Because you’re good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.
  • Because you’ve been sent back in time to prevent the machines from killing us all.
  • Performance art.

Provide your own in the comments, if you like.

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4 thoughts on “The Greatest News Story Ever

  1. BigCalBear80 says:

    Because they don’t have a cream pie concession at PGA events.

  2. Afroman says:

    Because you got high, because you got high, because you got hiiiiiiiigh.

  3. […] <ul> <li>His acting <a href=”; target=”_blank”>evokes</a> chucking hot dogs at professional […]

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