Study: Obvious Thing We All Know is True, is True According to Twitter

No, it’s not that dark matter holds the galaxies together. Thanks to the magic of Twitter, we now know for a definitive fact that people wake up happy and enjoy weekends more than weekdays. This groundbreaking study did not go on to find other important truths such as: the sun is shiny, rain is wet, and Remember the Titans ended racism.

But I know what you skeptics out there are thinking: this study is stupid and wrong–Saturday and Sunday are just magical days that have unique properties unrelated to their being the entirety of the weekend. That’s what it is. And while a healthy skepticism is important to the pursuit of science, these particular Scientists tested for that hypothesis and found it lacking:

The researchers also examined tweets in the United Arab Emirates, where Friday and Saturday are considered the weekend. Sure enough, they found the same daily pattern, even though the workday tends to begin earlier there than in the West, and the same weekend pattern.

Whoa! This is crazy. I guess it does make sense that working doesn’t make people happy. As Don Draper would say

But wait, there’s more to this study! You know how we are always thinking that our moods are controlled by things that happen such as events, the way we interact with people, and the weather. Wrong!

Unless you’re a night owl, a positive attitude peaks early in the morning and again near midnight, but starts to dip midmorning before rising again in the evening…Work-related stress may play some role but it can’t explain why that same midday dip occurs on the weekend, too, said lead researcher Scott Golder, a Cornell graduate student. Instead, the pattern probably is due to the effects of sleep and our 24-hour biological clock, the so-called circadian rhythms that signal when it’s time to sleep and to wake, Golder and Cornell sociologist Michael Macy reported.

So there! Your moods vary throughout the day, except that you like weekends. So enjoy this one, but be safe!

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