Bucky Larson Forces America to Look in the Mirror, Shudder

Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison clique’s movies often are criticized for appealing to the lowest common denominator–and rightfully so. Grown Ups, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, and so on. These movies are lambasted critically, yet succeed financially because they do appeal to a wide swath of people. What can you do?

But as anyone who does fractions will tell you, in order to find a common denominator between two things (say: 3/4 and 2/3, or “loves seeing people get hit in the nuts” and “is 12-years-old”) the denominator needs to be just that–common. So, just as using eighths (i.e. 6/8) as the denominator does not include 2/3, making an R-rated comedy about a buck-toothed imbecile who decides to do porn when he learned his parents had been in porn does not include “is 12-years-old” because those children need their parents to take them to the theater. And what kind of terrible parent would take their child to this movie?

But believe you me, there are harsher critiques out there, none harsher than the one delivered by the American public, which saw the film in staggeringly low numbers (about 8 viewers per showing–nationally). But that’s not all! A movie that received the rare honor of a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes has the critics talking. What are they saying? I think it’s time to play SuperReview, where I aggregate words from other reviews into one comprehensive analysis of the film.

Movieline:

not only is Bucky Larson incredibly unfunny, it’s also squeamish in a manner that makes you wonder if either writers Adam Sandler (who produced the film via his Happy Madison company), Allen Covert and Nick Swardson (who plays Bucky) have somehow never actually seen porn, or if they subcontracted the script out to a group of 8-year-olds with only the vaguest idea of what it entails.

New York Times:

this may be the worst movie Pauly Shore has ever been in.

New York Daily News:

There are movie atrocities, there are I-just-don’t-get-it comedies and then there’s “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star.”

Variety:

one of the most astonishingly unfunny films of this or any other year.

A.V. Club

He’s essentially a child in a man’s body, which lends an element of symbolic pedophilia to a romance that would already be creepy under the best of circumstances.

Catholic News Service

The Catholic News Service classification is O — morally offensive.

Los Angeles Times

shows little interest in bringing any more comic verve or visual appeal than a homemade YouTube video would.

Orlando Sentinel

It’s an ugly movie to look at and a faintly nauseating one to sit through, truth be told.

Hollywood Reporter

It’s telling when Adam Sandler produces a movie but doesn’t cast himself in the leading role.

Box Office Magazine

Bucky Larson goes from zero to bestiality in less than 60 seconds.

Slant Magazine

Never have I loved Christina Ricci more than the moment she appeared, 20 minutes into the loathsome Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star, like an angel out of the ether, casting light where there was once only darkness. By the time the movie was over, I’d never felt as sorry for her either.

AMC Film Critic

To call it garbage would be an affront to landfills everywhere.

Hollywood Chicago

Adam Sandler lost a bet. How else to explain the existence of “Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star,” a movie that no one but the man behind Happy Madison would possibly finance? If you took this script (co-written by Little Nicky himself) to any sane film producer, they would assume you were pulling a prank. When you told them the shockingly untalented Nick Swardson was attached as the lead, they’d call security. And yet here it is, one of the worst comedies of all time.

The Wrap

Bucky needs an orthodontist and he has microphallus, and that’s pretty much all this film has to offer in the chuckles department, making it something of a chore for anyone above the age of 12.

Metro

who thought that audiences would flock to a film about a grotesque man-child who ejaculates all over the place?

Do you like being dipped in sulfuric acid for hours on end? Because that’s what watching “Bucky Larson” feels like and it’s only 96 minutes long.
the film, ploddingly directed by Tom Brady (no relation to the far more graceful pro quarterback), is overly obsessed with smut, vulgarity and excretions.
kind of like Little Nicky, if the Little Nicky repeatedly and spastically ejaculated into the air throughout the entire movie.

Three Movie Buffs

One of his many problems is that he has a microscopic penis.

Entertainment Weekly

If you snickered just now when you read ”penis,” then this is probably the movie for you.

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One thought on “Bucky Larson Forces America to Look in the Mirror, Shudder

  1. Star Jones says:

    Can we go back to talking about the Heat during Fashion Week? Chris Bosh is unpleasant…but this is repellant. I’m with the Catholic News Service: just say nO.

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