Things Are Australian for Other Things

  1. Martina Hingis, Australian for three-time Australian Open Champion
  2. Australian Rules football, Australian for rugby.
  3. All Blacks, Australian for best rugby team in the world.
  4. All Whites, Australian for worst rugby team in the world.
  5. The year 2000, Australian for we got the Olympics and you don’t, so suck it.
  6. Prison, Australian for home.
  7. Aborigines, Australian for where’d they go? I don’t see none of them.
  8. England, Australian for SuperAustralia.
  9. Didgeridoo, Australian for flute.
  10. Midnight Oil, Australian for REM.
  11. Vegemite, Australian for meatloaf.
  12. Yahoo Serious, Australian for Jim Carrey.
  13. Sand, Australian for dirt.
  14. Typhoid, Australian for fever.
  15. Rupert Murdoch, Australian for news.
  16. Mel Gibson, Australian for sober.
  17. The Christ, Australian for Passionate.
  18. Tangerine, Australian for orange. If you’re a little girl.
  19. Flight of the Conchords, Australian for worse than Crocodile Dundee.
  20. Blooomin’ Onion, Australian for yeah, sorry about that one, rest of world.
  21. Austria, Australian for rename your fucking country.
  22. Gallipoli, Australian for biggest success in World War I.
  23. Counterclockwise, Australian for flushing-way.
  24. Christmas, Australian for Boxing Day Eve.
  25. Don Bradman, Australian for the greatest athlete ever.
  26. Thorpedo, Australian for Torpedo.
  27. Commonwealth Games, Australian for Olympics.
  28. Babe, Australian for an unrealistic depiction of sheepdog trials.
  29. Tiger Woods, Australian for second-best golfer behind Greg Norman.
  30. Uggs, Australian for sneakers.
  31. New Zealand, Australian for SubAustralia.
  32. Sledging, Australian for talking shit.
  33. Mad Max, Australian for August.
  34. Kylie Minogue, Australian for greatest musician of all time.
  35. Dannii Minogue, Australian for Frank Stallone.
  36. Where the Wild Things are, Australian for dreaming.
  37. Russell Crowe, Australian for pansy.
  38. Cane toad, Australian for regular-sized toad.
  39. Silverchair, Australian for 1996.
  40. INXS, Australian for autoerotic asphyxiation.
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