Tag Archives: Herman Cain

If You Could Have Anything Thing Signed By Anyone, What Thing/Person Combo Would You Chose?

Like, What If Someone Had Signed This!?!?!?!?

Like, What If Someone Had Signed This!?!?!?!? I’d Be Rich

Inspired by the news that some guy bought a copy of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Strength To Love that featured his signature on the inside cover, I thought it would be time to consider what would be the best place to find an autograph. (I should also note that this came from Reddit, so there’s like a 94% chance of it being a hoax of some kind–even the hoaxes are hoaxes over there.)

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Herman Cain Eats Pizza, Is Amazing Human Being

Sure, Herman Cain is such a horrendous candidate for president that people are invoking the mercy rule because he has no fucking clue about anything foreign affairs. Granted, if the category on Jeopardy! were “Wars the United States has Fought in the Past Year,” the one about Libya would probably appear no sooner than the $600 question. That said, anyone who’s ever been called on in class only to have no idea what the answer is can really empathize with Herm’s situation. Only back when I didn’t know the answer I couldn’t just mumble and blame Obama. #regretsivehadafew

So that’s Herman Cain at his worst. When’s Herman Cain at his best? Why, when he’s eating pizza of course!

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Rick Perry, We Hardly Knew Ye

The weird thing about this is that he really should’ve just said literally any other agency (besides Defense, natch), and it wouldn’t have really mattered. Which is worse: looking like a complete and total dumbass or having a totally insane opinion (like, for example the ones he was proffering before he couldn’t remember the entirety of his insane opinions)? I’ll skip ahead and give you the answer. It’s looking like a dumbass.

As awful as that was, Perry’s still not entirely done. InTrade has him at 5% to win the Republican nomination, which sounds bad, but he was at 9.3% before the debate. Obviously anything that effectively halves your chances is a disaster, but I mean, there’s still a chance. No Lloyd Christmas.

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What’s Getting My Goat

Because Andy Rooney retired, somebody needs to take the mantle of crotchety old man. That’s where I come in, with a list of things that have provided minor, ultimately insignificant irritation to me in the last week.

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