Tagged with Calista Flockhart

Sexiest Man Controvery Embroils America (Plus A Historical Retrospective on People’s BEST COVERS EVAR)

So, it’s come to this. People Magazine, the guardians of modern journalism who brought you stories of international importance such as “Dakota Fanning learns to do Laundry,” “Inside Zoe Saldana’s Pre-Breakup Family Dinner” and really, everything that falls under the aegis of their website celebritybabies.people.com, has named their World’s Sexiest Man.

And for twentieth year in a row, it’s Nick Nolte! Congratulations again, Nick! (My sources on this somehow turned out to be incorrect. We regret the error.)

No, the World’s Sexiest People’s Sexiest Sexyman of the Sexy Year is Bradley Cooper. I know what you’re thinking–I’ve already read nearly 100 words, get to the fucking point-so I will. This choice, while seemingly a generic selection of a good-looking white actor who does the kind of boring and awful movie that the humans who read People go see in droves, is a controversial one.

Why? Because Ryan Gosling wuz robbed, that’s why! Let’s go over Ryan Gosling’s resume:

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How to Make the Most of 11/11/11

Apparently Egypt has closed (will close? Time zones are confusing!) the Great Pyramid to avoid weird 11/11/11 rituals. Will it work or will a team of explorers discover Hamunaptra, discover the Book of Amun-Ra and accidentally revive Imhotep? Time will tell, but let’s hope for the former.

Anyway, if this changes your plans for 11/11/11 (at 11:11:11 AM and/or PM!) here are a few other pointless things you can do if you’re insisting on doing a pointless thing because the idea of seeing the same number a bunch of times really drives you into a tizzy.
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