Congratulations! You’ve stumbled upon this web-based site! It is likely that you have, in your possession, electricity, a computer, a connection to the internet (which requires a wall). As the owner of all of these important things, you probably think life couldn’t get any better.

Think again.

You’re now visiting this site, which will have hot, fresh new writing from time to time from me, Jordan Carr. And you can hire me if you email me at jordan.alan.carr “at” gmail.com. Ninth caller gets two free tickets to the Vans Warped Tour.

Who is this “Jordan” “Carr” you’ve heard so much about, just now, from me? I am a writer living in New York City, but am from the Bay Area.  I am, like many other losers, trying to make it as a writer, especially in TV. Because I feel the need to give back to society, and the Peace Corps is for wusses.

I have written for The Awl, the AOL News content farm, Grantland and on the 30 for 30 short film Tommy & Frank.

If you want to hire me or just chat and maybe make friends, I have a comically cumbersome email address (jordan.alan.carr “at” gmail.com) and twitter handle (@jordancarr2000) because my name is more common than I realized. I always respond, so if you’re in a really dark place in your life where you take out your frustrations on internet people you’ve never met, it’s ok! You won’t hurt my feelings, and someday we’ll both look back on it and laugh laugh laugh.

This site is called what it’s called in part as an homage to my favorite (possibly apocryphal) band naming story, that of Better than Ezra, and my favorite television character of all time, Friday Night Lights‘s Ray “Voodoo” Tatum, who is the guy hopefully looking up in the upper left-hand corner on your webpage.

The most popular posts on this site are about what the deal is with Alabama hair, the most sexual tension-laden presidential tickets, whether or not there are any Taco Bells in Mexico and lengthy reviews of Moneyball and the Eric Taylor eras at Dillon and East Dillon High Schools. Read them! This site is like those things!

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